In Todd We Trust Read online

  While the others admired The Ribbonator, I asked Todd for a private word with him.

  “Sure, Lewis,” he said, placing me on his dresser. “What is it?”

  I looked earnestly into Todd’s face. “Could you take off those glasses for a moment?” His eyebrows shot up, but he removed the glasses. “Do you seriously believe that … about hardships being sent our way to make us stronger?”

  “Yeah, I do …” he said, his voice trailing off and his eyes widening. He chewed his bottom lip for a moment and knit his brows.

  “Todd?” I said. “Is something wrong?”

  He took a deep breath and heaved his shoulders. “No. Well, sort of …” He looked at me and said quickly, “But not with you. There’s just something hard I have to do tonight … at the dance.”

  Now I took a deep breath and asked what was truly in my heart. “Did you really mean what you said a few moments ago? About us being friends?”

  Todd grinned. “Absolutely.” I could see my reflection shining in his dark pupils. “You and I will always be friends, Lew. I promise.”

  The doorbell rang then, which saved me from making a blubbering fool of myself. Todd placed me in my old spot on his shoulder, and we walked to the door.

  He opened it. Lucy and Duddy stood on the stoop, looking exceptionally dapper in coordinating red and black ensembles. Todd nodded appreciatively and welcomed his friends inside. Duddy wore a black tie spangled with red chili peppers that I found quite aesthetically pleasing. Lucy’s blouse was made of the same material, paired with a shiny black skirt; she explained that Susan had made them especially for the occasion.

  “You’re coming, aren’t you, Todd?” Duddy asked, his voice high and unsure.

  Lucy nodded. “You know it won’t be nearly as much fun without you and your … break-dancing skills.” She raised her eyebrows significantly. “So, what’s it gonna be, Butroche?”

  Todd smiled. “Of course I’m going.” His friends’ faces lit up. “But we need to stop by Charity’s and pick her up first.”

  When we’d first returned from the river rescue, Todd had changed into khaki slacks and a denim button-down shirt, and he looked quite dashing. He invited his friends back to his bedroom so Lucy could assist him with the bright pink tie Duddy pulled from his pocket.

  “Where did you get this?” Todd asked.

  Duddy grinned. “A certain lovely young lady asked me to deliver it to you, and to tell you she really hoped you were going. I tried to tell her pink wasn’t your color.”

  “It’s fuchsia, actually,” Todd replied. He had an odd expression as he looked down at the tie—almost as though he suspected it might bite him.

  I watched from his shoulder as Lucy’s nimble fingers made a neat knot in the tie. Heat was radiating off Todd’s cheek, and Lucy’s looked flushed as well.

  “Are you coming with us?” Todd asked me. “You know you love ‘festive occasions.’”

  I yawned. “True, but tonight Lewis is just too pooped to party. I need to rest after this afternoon, which was an epic adventure.”

  Todd laughed and set me inside the fluffy slipper bed. “Sweet dreams, then, Lew.”

  I sighed and snuggled down into the familiar warmth of my own bed, at peace in the knowledge that I could count on Todd to return.

  CHAPTER 25

  I walked into the community center expecting to see kids slow dancing under a disco ball and couples kissing in corners. But the scene was completely different than I’d imagined, thank goodness.

  There were a lot of people I didn’t recognize, since the dance was open to other middle schools. But the guys, at least, had one thing in common: they were all huddled by the left wall under a giant paper spider on an orange streamer web. As Persephone would’ve put it, it looked like they’d “circled the wagons” in case any of the girls made a sneak attack from the other side of the big gym.

  While the boys were joking and goofing off, the girls did in fact look like they were scheming how best to break the boys’ ranks. They giggled and whispered by the punch bowl, pointing at the opposite sex like they were monkeys in a zoo.

  As far as dancing, the floor was an empty no-man’s-land. There was a disco ball shooting dots of white light all over the walls and floor, and the DJ practically begged somebody to come boogie. He even played that song that goes, “You make me wanna shout …” But it seemed he had the wrong crowd.

  Lucy really didn’t know any of the girls, and Charity—who looked jaw-droppingly gorgeous, of course—had pretty much superglued herself to my side, so Duddy and I strolled over to check out the grub table, girls in tow.

  There was a big bowl of orange sherbet punch in the center of the table, and I started to help myself when Duddy asked Lucy if she would like “some refreshment.” I followed his lead and gave Charity the cup I’d been pouring, then poured my own. That’s when I heard Ike talking. It sounded like he was right under the table!

  Ike was saying, “A little higher, now over to the right … Wait, stop! That’s perfect! Very nice, Carmen.”

  A girl giggled, and then I heard Wendell’s voice: “You think that’s something? Watch us!”

  Against my better judgment, I lifted the orange tablecloth to see what in the world they were doing under there.

  Wendell, Ike, and their dates were lined up on their knees, building two pyramids out of clear plastic punch cups.

  “Oh, hey, Todd!” Ike said, jumping up and clocking his head on the table. He rubbed his head and asked, “Whaddya think? Ours is the best, right?”

  Before I could answer, Wendell made introductions. “Hail, noble warrior!” he said, bowing. “Alyssa and Carmen, this is Duddy’s savior and fellow Dragon Sensei enthusiast, Todd Butroche.” The girls, who looked surprisingly normal, grinned at me and giggled some more.

  Duddy must have heard his name mentioned, because he looked under the table then, and so did Lucy and Charity. There were introductions all around. We couldn’t persuade Ike and Wendell to come out and join the party yet; they had to have a timed “stack-off” first. It seemed they’d been only practicing.

  “Was Wendell wearing a kimono?” Charity asked me as we filled our plates with snacks.

  I smiled. “Actually, I think it was probably his mom’s robe. Those two are a little strange at first, but once you get to know them, they’re pretty great. Wendell has the most epic Dragon Sensei T-shirt collection of all time, and Ike … well, you saw his Mongee-Poo imitation at swim-team tryouts. He’s hilarious.”

  Lucy had been listening. “Speaking of swim team,” she said, piling grinning jack-o’-lantern sugar cookies on her plate, “in all the excitement earlier I completely forgot to ask you: How’d your meet go?”

  Charity answered for me. “You guys should have seen Todd! He blew everybody out of the water, almost literally, in all his heats! Earned the individual overall high score, too!” She looked at my chest. “Hey! You didn’t wear your medal.”

  My ears burned, and I held up my pink tie. “I thought it might clash.” That’s when I noticed Lucy gawping at me and shaking her head. “What, Lucy?”

  She let out a little laugh. “Todd, that’s unbelievable! Why didn’t you tell me? Last I heard you were going to quit the team!”

  I shrugged and tossed a piece of candy corn into the air, catching it between my teeth. “Why would I do that?” Lucy opened her mouth, and I tossed one to her. She missed and turned to throw one to Duddy, but he was busy doing his classic “stuff Cheetos in your nose and pretend they’re boogers” trick. I laughed, and the girls rolled their eyes.

  Lucy dusted the Cheeto shrapnel off Duddy’s vest. “I’ve got a joke for you guys: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?”

  Duddy yanked the Cheetos out of his nostrils. He popped one in his mouth and said, “Uh … The Science Guy?”

  Lucy smiled. “Good guess, Duddy. But the answer is C … S … I.” She emphasized every letter and then snort-laughed. Charity and I chuckled
politely; only Duddy admitted he didn’t get it. Lucy started to explain, and then said, “Wait. Duddy, did you actually just eat that Cheeto?”

  He blushed and changed the subject with another joke. “What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?”

  “FINDING HALF A WORM,” the three of us chorused.

  “Duddy,” I said, straightening my tie, “leave this to the professionals. What was the last thing that went through the grasshopper’s mind when he hit the windshield?”

  “HIS BUTT!” Duddy, Lucy, and Charity said at once.

  “Amateurs,” Charity bragged. “But back to worms: What’s invisible and smells like worms?”

  Finally, a stumper! We thought a minute, and then Duddy blurted, “Invisible worms?”

  “Bird flatulence!” Lucy shouted. “My turn now! I know you boys will appreciate this one: If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, what would they be?” She wriggled her eyebrows and took a sip of punch.

  I looked at Duddy, who shrugged and said, “Unstoppable?”

  “They’d be alloys, get it?”

  We didn’t.

  “You know, instead of ‘allies,’ ‘alloys’—it’s where you mix an inferior metal with a more precious one.”

  I stuffed a marshmallow ghost thingy into my mouth and nodded. Duddy, however, laughed like it was the funniest joke he’d ever heard. “Alloys! Oh, that’s a good one! Alloys.”

  Man, he had it for her bad.

  Charity went to “refresh herself,” and Duddy followed her, saying he had “urgent business” to take care of.

  Lucy chewed her cheek the way she does when she’s about to say something serious. “Todd, have you given any more consideration to letting me set up a webcam in your room? After today’s events, I just feel like the Toddlians need some extra surveillance and protection.”

  “I don’t think that would be a good idea, Lucy. I mean, a guy has to have his privacy.” My ears burned even more, but at least I’d finally said it. “And besides, I swear to you, I’m going to be taking a lot better care of the Toddlians from here on out. I just got temporarily … distracted.”

  “Yeah, right,” she said, smiling. “You just don’t want me to catch you break-dancing in your boxers or something.”

  She was right about that. Her face lit up, and mine did, too, for some reason.

  The lights dimmed then, and the DJ said in a low, creepy voice, “All right, young bucks, grab your gal pal by the hand and let’s slow it down a little. C’mon now, don’t be shy.”

  A romantic song started to play, and Charity crossed the floor and walked up to me, grabbing my hand. “Oooo, this one’s my favorite!” She turned on the eyelashes and said, “Will you dance with me, Todd?”

  Had something happened to the air conditioning? Why had it suddenly gotten so hot? None of the other guys apparently had the guts to walk across the room and grab their “gal pal” by the hand. I already had that step down. After all I’d been through today, I felt up to anything. “Sure,” I said, smiling. “Let’s show ’em how it’s done.”

  That was pretty stupid of me to say, since I’d never actually danced with another person before. Everyone was staring at us.

  But then it hit me: I, Todd Butroche, certified dork, was about to dance with the prettiest girl in the room. “What do we do now?” I whispered once we were under the disco ball.

  She put my hands around her waist and then put hers on my shoulders. We swayed slowly in a circle. “See, it’s easy,” she said.

  If I was hot before, I was now at lava level. I kind of wiped my sweaty hands on her dress, and I guess she must’ve thought I was getting cuddly, because she stepped closer and laid her head on my shoulder. Can she hear how fast my heart is beating? I looked forward, trying not to get dizzy from the swirling smells of her flowery perfume and her tropical shampoo.

  Suddenly Charity leaned toward my face. Her eyelids slid closed, and her lips parted … I stared at her glossy pink lips and went all woozy. She wants me to kiss her!

  I tensed and stopped swaying. It should have been my dream come true, but instead, this felt like too much. My body was sending my brain all kinds of signals that I just didn’t want to deal with yet. Other guys could do what they wanted, but I still liked feeling in charge of my feelings.

  I cleared my throat. What did I just tell the Toddlians? It’s worth it to do the hard things …

  “What’s wrong?” Charity asked, raising her head.

  “This,” I said, stepping away from her. Her eyes widened, and I tried to say the next part as gently as I could. “Charity, you are so cool, and I really, really like you. But I’m not ready … for this. Does that make sense?”

  She just looked at me for a few seconds, like she didn’t believe me. Then she slowly nodded, lowering her eyes. I felt my gut clench. Please don’t cry. I bent my knees and looked up into her face. “Hey, we’re still friends, right?” I gave her a mini Saki Salute, and she smiled.

  “O-of course, Todd. We still have to have our Dragon Sensei battle jam in which I whip your and Duddy’s butts, remember?”

  I laughed as oceans of relief rolled over me. We started dancing again, talking out the logistics of our battle jam. She was determined to get Lucy to join us in her Vespa costume. I didn’t say it, but I thought it would be supercool if they became friends, too.

  “Hey, look at that!” I said as Duddy led Lucy to the dance floor. Their faces were both bright pink, and they were giggling like crazy people.

  “We’re trendsetters,” Charity said, nodding toward Cassandra, who was—carrying Ernie over her shoulder? She set him down on the dance floor, and it was hard not to stare. Ernie circled her on tiptoe while she rotated in place with her arms around his neck.

  While I was gawking at the redheaded lovebirds, someone tore Charity out of my arms. I whipped around to see Max in jeans and a black satin tuxedo jacket. Under the jacket he wore a skull-and-roses Ed Hardy T-shirt. He’d actually combed his hair, and it was slicked into a swoopy Elvis ’do.

  “Don’t mind if I cut in, do you, Buttrock?”

  “It looks like she does.” I said, as Charity struggled to wrench her hand out of Max’s grip.

  He glared at me, then said with mock sympathy, “I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your little buggy buddies. You must be brokenhearted.”

  He stuck his bottom lip out in a fake pout, and I wanted to punch it. But instead I said, “Actually, they’ve never been better, no thanks to you.”

  Max looked confused and must’ve relaxed his grip because Charity got away from him, giving him a shove in the chest for good measure. She shook her finger in his face. “You listen to me, Max Loving, and get this straight.”

  The other couples who had come out on the floor stopped dancing and watched. Even the music paused as the DJ, taking in the show, seemed to forget to put on the next song.

  “I do not like you. I’ve never liked you, and I never will. Furthermore, I don’t appreciate being manhandled and fought over like some pretty little toy or … or tasty pastry or something.”

  Max jerked his head toward me but looked at her. “This is all about him, isn’t it? If it weren’t for him—”

  Charity crossed her arms and tossed her hair. “At least Todd knows how to treat a girl with a little respect. Ever heard of it? This has nothing to do with Todd besting you. I wouldn’t go out with you if you were the only guy on the planet.” She turned and sashayed to the girls’ room.

  “Sing it, sister!” Lucy yelled.

  Max’s shoulders slumped, and for a brief moment I saw a softness in his face that was completely un-Max-like. He sighed and stared at his sneakers while the DJ seemed to get his act together and everybody else started doing the “YMCA.”

  He was clearly in a weakened state. This was my chance to put a stop to his threats once and for all. I took a power stance in front of him. “Max, you’d better steer clear of me and the Toddlians from now on, and I mean it.”

 
His eyes met mine, the old fire back in them. “Or what?”

  “Or …” I hadn’t thought this far ahead, so I said the first thing that popped into my brain. “Or I’ve got a surveillance camera over my garage with some real interesting footage of your epic wipeout on my skateboard. That wipeout already kinda ruined your reputation with Spud and those guys, didn’t it?” I leaned in close, whispering right into Max’s reddening face. “Who knows what damage would be done if even more people found out?”

  He was morphing into Hulk-Max mode as I spoke. Angry unibrow, nostrils flared, flexed muscles, the whole routine. “I don’t need Spud and Dick, loser. And if you think I believe that story for one second, you’re even stupider than I thought. Surveillance camera, huh!” He snorted and leaned over me. “You really think I’m an idiot, don’t you, bug boy?”

  I didn’t flinch. “All right, tough guy. Why don’t you come to my house after the dance and check it out, then?”

  He stared at me, not moving. He didn’t know what to do.

  I glared up at him. “I’d hate to have to show that video to Charity, because I’m sure she’d show it to all her friends. And you know how YouTube works, right? Within a week every girl in the country will have seen ‘Max Meets Driveway.’”

  I raised my eyebrows and pressed my lips together. “Now that could be embarrassing. I mean, we know Charity doesn’t like you. But that would kind of zap your chances with every girl in school, huh?” I looked at Max. He looked somehow smaller than he had a minute before. “So you better leave my ‘little bug people’ alone. Comprende?“

  Max stepped back and twitched his head to one side. “All right, Buttrock.” He gave my shoulder a parting shove. “You win this round. You and I could probably use a break from each other, anyway.”

  He started to slink off toward the exit, but I stopped him. I was still curious about something. “Hey, Loving!” Max turned toward me slowly. “What did you see in Charity, anyway? It doesn’t seem like the two of you have anything in common.”