In Todd We Trust Read online

  Max glared at me. For a second, I thought I could actually see pain in his eyes, but then they hardened. “What did I see in Charity?” he asked. “A pulse and two X chromosomes, that’s all! I thought she might be cool, but … clearly she’s not, if she’s into you.” He whipped his head around, looking all over the dance floor. “YOU HEAR THAT, LADIES?” he yelled. “THIS IS YOUR LUCKY NIGHT, BECAUSE MAX LOVING IS BACK ON THE MARKET!” He flexed his meaty biceps, gave a quick nod, and then turned, weaving in and out of YMCAers toward the door.

  I mean, obviously he was lying. I knew Max, and I knew he wouldn’t have put so much effort into wooing Charity if he didn’t actually like her. But it was silly of me to think he’d ever tell me, or anyone, what he was really feeling.

  For just a second, I felt sorry for him. But then a vision of him pushing the Toddlians down the sewer drain flashed before my eyes, and I got over my sympathy pains real quick.

  Max is right, for once. It’s time we take a break from each other.

  CHAPTER 26

  All that confrontation had made me thirsty, and I strolled back over to the punch bowl for a hit of orange-sherbet sweetness. Lucy and Duddy were lining up to do the limbo, and when Lucy saw me, she whispered something to Duddy and headed in my direction.

  “Hey, Todd!” she said, pouring herself some punch. “What exactly happened back there?”

  I shrugged. “Nothing big. But I don’t think Max will be bothering us anymore. Or the Toddlians.”

  “Oh, good.” Lucy drained her cup, smiling with a funny foam mustache. “So much heavenly refined sugar! But that’s not what I meant. What happened before that, with Charity?”

  “Oh.” I guzzled my punch and wiped my mouth with a black napkin. I folded it up into fourths as I talked. “I, uh … I told her that I wasn’t ready for all this boy-girl stuff and that I thought we should just be friends.”

  I looked at her then, and her dark eyes were big and sparkly. It could have been the sugar; I dunno.

  “I’m glad you feel that way, Todd. Like I said the other night, we’re too young for dating. Friendship is good. For now.”

  Duddy had walked up behind her, and by the devastated look on his face, I knew he’d heard us. But nothing could keep the Dudster down for long. “Yeah, we’re pretty lucky to have each other as friends,” he said, nodding like he was convincing himself. “Right? I mean, you don’t find a trifecta of coolness like this every day!”

  Lucy laughed. “Hey, fellas, whaddaya say we blow this Popsicle stand? I’ve had about all the Katy Perry and high-fructose corn syrup I can stomach. And these stupid stilts mislabeled as shoes!” She pulled a pinched-up foot out of a red heel and picked it up. “These are so structurally flawed. Throws you completely off balance and causes you to lean forward at a precarious angle, not to mention the punishment to your arches …” Our eyes must have been glazing over, because she said, “Anyway, you guys ready to go?”

  “Absolutely!” I jogged over to Charity, who was sitting in a folding chair and chatting with Ernie and Cassandra about the basics of badminton. “We’re going back to my house to hang out for a while. You in?”

  Charity smiled. “Aw, thanks for asking me, Todd. But I told E and C here that I’d go with them to watch some of their Badminton for Beginners DVDs. I can’t go out for it this year because of swim team, but I’ve always wanted to learn. Maybe we can all get together and play sometime.”

  I glanced at Cassandra, who was trading retainers with Ernie. He had Batman on his, and she had Hello Kitty on hers.

  “Uh, yeah, sure. That’d be great!” I headed back to my gang feeling kind of relieved that Charity wasn’t coming. Now I could bring out the Toddlians!

  • • •

  Back at my house we warmed up some sweat “à la Todd Bod” (as Herman called it) for the little dudes and some hot chocolate for Duddy and me. Lucy drank water. “I don’t want to go into a sugar coma or anything,” she explained.

  While we had been at the dance the Toddlians had planned a little surprise. We gathered outside my closet and knelt down beside Toddlandia to see what it was, passing the micro-glasses back and forth so we wouldn’t miss anything.

  Lewis asked me to fill a giant bowl with water, and I did as he asked and placed it on the closet floor. Then Herman had the Toddlians board The Ribbonator. The Toddlians wanted to give the boat a new name, but Herman was worried that if it wasn’t renamed properly, they might “incur the wrath of some evil demigod.” I thought he was probably talking about Daisy, and I promised him that she didn’t even know they existed. He looked at me funny and asked to proceed with the ceremony.

  “Are you all aboard?” I asked, gently setting the boat on the water.

  “Darn tootin’!” Persephone hollered. “Let’s get this done; I’m feelin’ greener than a garter snake with the grippe.”

  Something tickled my hand. It was Lewis, climbing up my finger. “Great—I mean, Just Plain Todd,” he said, skittering up my arm to my shoulder, “may I watch the ceremony from up here? Recent unpleasant events are still too fresh in my memory to desire a boat ride at present.”

  “Sure,” I said. “Best seat in the house.”

  Herman addressed us from the bow. “My friends, we gather here today to christen this vessel with a new name, worthy of her beauty and watertightness.”

  The Toddlians cheered, and we joined in.

  “Ships have watched faithfully over sailors for thousands of years, the way a mother does her wee babe, and therefore, we lovingly refer to them as ‘she.’ Now raise your cups and join me in a toast. To the sailors of yore! To The Butroche!”

  “TO THE SAILORS OF YORE!” we cried. “TO THE BUTROCHE!”

  Everybody took a sip, except me. My jaw dropped, and then I couldn’t stop smiling.

  “That’s so cool!” Duddy said.

  “With all due respect, gentlemen,” Herman said solemnly. “Please do not interrupt the christening ceremony. We must do this hastily, before any evil spirits become aware of our proceedings.”

  He cleared his throat. “The moods of Dais—waves are unstable. But the keel of this ship is sturdy and will carry us safely to harbor on every voyage. Let us toast: TO THE WIND AND THE WAVES! TO THE BUTROCHE!”

  We repeated the toast and took another sip.

  “And finally,” Herman said, choking up a bit, “to our only god, who saved his people out of the raging river, who built this remarkable city for us to dwell in, and who treats us not as slaves but as friends. Today we formally reaffirm our loyalty to you. TO GREAT TODD! AND TO THE BUTROCHE!”

  “TO GREAT TODD! AND TO THE BUTROCHE!”

  Lucy sniffled, and I might have, too. She poured a cup of sweat over the bow and proclaimed, “Today we name this lady The Butroche! May your waters always be calm, may your voyages be prosperous, and may you Toddlians never know fear again, in any of its forms.”

  “TO THE TODDLIANS!” I cried, raising my mug.

  Duddy and Lucy joined me. “TO THE TODDLIANS!”

  Herman led us in the Toddlandian anthem, and we cheered so loud Mom popped her head in the door. “You might want to keep it down—Daisy’s asleep.”

  I pulled off my glasses and jumped up to block her view. “We’ll settle down, I promise.”

  She shut the door, and then opened it again. “Oh, Todd! I forgot to tell you; Daisy said your name today! She very distinctly said, ‘Todd.’“

  “That’s awesome!”

  Mom nodded. “I thought you’d like to know. But then she said another name; I think it must be one of the babies from her playdate. Right after she said ‘Todd,’ she said, ‘Lee Ann,’ as clear as a bell. Crazy, huh? You guys have fun!”

  Todd, Lee Ann? Huh. Is there a Lee Ann in her playgroup? I didn’t remember one from when they met here and I’d had to help … But how cool that Daisy’d finally learned my name!

  I went to sleep that night with Lewis snuggled into my pillow, just like old times. He yawned and said, “Pleasant
dreams, Todd.”

  I held out my finger. “You too, Lew. High five?”

  Lewis jumped up and smacked my finger, then nuzzled back into my pillow. He sighed and said, “It’s so nice having a god who cares for you. But it’s even nicer having that god for your friend.”

  I smiled into the darkness. “You got that right, compadre. Friends are good … of every size.”

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS:

  THE AUTHOR WOULD LIKE TO THANK: The One who is always faithful; Bobby, for dreaming with me; my children, for being my encouragement posse; Ben and Gillian, for giving me this amazing opportunity; Stephanie, Elizabeth, and Lynn, for their kind and wise words; Patrick, for breathing life into these characters with your incredible illustrations; Lis, for being the world’s most supportive sister; Lisa, for her devotion not only to my work, but to the children of our community; to my fellow OneFours, whose camaraderie I cherish; Matthew, for his anime expertise and playing Koi Boy without complaining; and Jay, Nic, Frank, Lu, Amy, Deanna, Mike, Shellie, Amber, and Richard, for being there from the get-go.

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